Dad’s Tribute from funeral: 12/4/04
Often, when we remember and honor the life of someone who has gone before us, we hear much about their life’s resume: the jobs they may have held, the societies or groups they may have belonged to, the degrees they may have earned, and of course, the hobbies and other recreational activities that they enjoyed.
My father worked the same job for over forty years at Norfolk Southern railroad. He worked a desk job that dealt with the freight on board the trains and the processing of it as it was transported. To this day I cannot fully explain all the specifics involved, but it was a good job that supported the family well. Also, for over forty years, my dad served as a proud member of the Kenilworth Volunteer Fire Company, here in the town of Tonawanda. Throughout his years there, he held offices of President, Vice-President, Secretary, Warden, and Trustee. Dad also served on the Board of Commissioners for 15 years, and most recently, he took the most pride and honor in his office of the company chaplain. Kenilworth was a place where he made many friends and took great pride in the service of others in his community. In terms hobbies, I’ve heard that when he was young he loved to run track and play basketball and he even played a little violin and clarinet. He enjoyed bowling for many years and also loved to golf. I think my brother Mike and I started getting dad hooked on poker even in his last days, but we still never let him win.
These are just a few examples of how my father spent his life on Earth…what he did…..his resume, if you will. But to truly honor my father today, to truly appreciate the significance of his life, we cannot just look at…. WHAT MY FATHER DID. … Rather, it is much more meaningful to share with you today WHO MY FATHER WAS…..
My dad was a hard-working, loving, generous, caring, funny, sweet, respected, humble, and courageous man. He married the love of his life and together with my Mother, raised three children. He was a beloved Son, Brother, Husband, Father, Uncle, Cousin, Nephew, and Friend. He worked to the best of his ability, sacrificed for others, and served his community honorably. But the greatest relationship my dad ever had, the one that really counts the most, was the relationship he formed and strengthened with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Throughout the latter years of his life, dad grew even more deeply and richly in his Catholic faith, his faith in God, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The more I think back on my dad’s life, the more obvious it has become that the Lord has truly blessed dad in many ways. They say hindsight is 20/20 and in looking back on the events of the past 10-15 years there were numerous times where God was preparing my dad to unite himself with Christ so that he can truly enjoy life everlasting at the banquet of heaven. Although, at the time, these sufferings that he endured seemed to be nothing more than frustrating inconveniences, one after another.
In the summer of 1992, my father was to go in the hospital for a routine procedure, an angioplasty, which was supposed to be very a very quick and painless procedure. Dad was expected to be “in and out” in a few hours. Well, that day things did not go as well as planned, as my father unexpectedly had to endure an emergency bypass surgery without any prior warning. Things were not looking good that day, as dad had to be resuscitated while in surgery. We were all very scared, so what did we do? We prayed, and prayed and prayed. And when it was all over, what did my dad do? Through the grace of God he pulled through, he bounced back. He accepted and endured the cross he was given, and he moved forward. That’s WHO my father was, a man of great faith.
Several years later, my dad started experiencing great pain in his hip, replacement surgery was necessary. I’m sure it was the grace of God again, that allowed him to be discharged after only a couple days of recovery following his surgery rather than the week to two weeks the doctors had predicted. How did my dad recover so quickly? Well, simple…. that’s WHO my father was, a man of great faith. He endured his cross he was given and he moved on.
One year later, dad’s other hip needed to be replaced, yet another cross needed to be carried. Of course, a speedy recovery occurred once again and yet another opportunity for my dad to unite himself with Christ was given him. He endured his cross and he moved on.
Don’t get me wrong, my dad’s life was filled with many times of great joy. Many birthdays were celebrated, many laughs were shared, and many good times were had. However, as my dad grew older the focus of his life became Christ and, as human beings, we tend to not have such great focus on Him in the good times of our lives. Rather, it is in the trials of suffering that draws us closer to Him, which unites us to Him. Again, in hindsight as we look back on dad’s history of these medical procedures, these sufferings that he endured, and the prayers and faith that pulled him through, it is easy to realize that Christ was preparing my father for something greater. During this preparation process, my father increased his devotion to prayer, specifically to our Mother Mary as he said the rosary nightly, together with my mother. Dad became more involved in his church ministry as he served as a Eucharistic Minister, and believe it or not decided to teach religious education classes to 5th graders. Believe me this was a new man, indeed. A new man, with a renewed spirit of faith. Some of the best time I ever spent with my father was right here on this Altar, as we regularly served Mass together once a month at 11:30, “Fick & Fick”, as Fr. Bob used to say.
The end of the Luke 12:48 reads “to the one who has been entrusted with much, more will be asked.” I believe the Lord looked down on my dad and saw how he was truly growing in his faith over the past several years. And I believe God said to my dad, “Ya know Ken, I’m so proud of you. I’m so happy that you have come so far in your faith journey because now I know you are ready! You see, I have yet another blessing to give you, and like some of the others in your life, you won’t like it right away, it’s not gonna feel very good. But I promise you if you take up this cross of suffering and unite yourself with me again, it will be the last pain you will ever have to endure and in the end you will be free and live with me forever. Now take up your cross and walk with me.”
And my father did just that. He accepted the cross he was given, and he endured. You see, that’s WHO he was, a man of great faith who fought, endured, and moved on. Just as Jesus prayed for his cup to pass over him, so too did we pray for my father’s disease to leave him. And just as Jesus accepted the will of his Father and embraced his cross, so too did my father embrace his with courage and dignity. My dad understood that it was the Father’s will that must prevail and not his own.
Although this final journey of dad’s was by far the most painful, it was also by far, the most blessed. Many wonderful things happened over the past seven months as dad battled his leukemia. First and foremost, we were all strengthened with the gift of knowledge. The knowledge that dad’s time on this Earth was coming quickly to an end. Through this gift of knowledge, we were given the opportunity to grow stronger as a family, to spend even more time together, to say the things that needed to be said, to be at peace with eachother, and to pray together. The words “I love you” were never spoken more among our family, then they were over the past seven months. We thank God for the blessing of time to allow my dad and his family to grow stronger, to make up for “lost time”. Time that we always took for granted in the past was treated with much care and respect.
John 15:13 reads “No greater love is there than this, to lay down one’s life for a friend”. One of the most incredible blessings of the past year was the need for my dad to undergo a stem cell transplant. It was the only way to extend the life of my father, nothing else would help him. As it turned out, my dad’s brother…., my uncle Jim, was found to be a perfect match for my father’s blood. And through my uncle’s sacrifice of himself, through the giving of his own body, LITERALLY HIS OWN BLOOD to my father, my dad was afforded a longer gift of life. My uncle gave the foundational “building blocks” of physical life to my father. What another great opportunity for us to see the reflection of Christ in others. Just as my uncle had given up a part of his own body, his own BLOOD, that which is the sustaining lifeline in all of us, doesn’t that serve as an exact reminder of what Christ has done for us who believe in Him? Because of my uncle’s gift of self, my dad survived much longer than expected. Likewise, because of the gift of Jesus, because of His willingness to give of HIMSELF to us, through the body and BLOOD that is present in the Eucharist, we too are also afforded the opportunity of the gift of life…..everlasting life. Jesus, the great physician, was the first one to successfully perform a transplant! He is the ultimate donor and we who believe are the sick patient recipients! And the great thing about Jesus’ procedure is that we can receive it all the time over and over again, if we prepare ourselves, and don’t choose to reject Him. Even though my father did not survive his battle, he never rejected Christ, and always received him daily into his heart. Through all the pain and suffering, my dad always kept his faith strong in the greatest Healer of all……that’s WHO my father was, a man of great faith.
There were many instances in this final journey with dad where had “fallen”. Many times when things did not look good. But each time dad was faced with such difficulties, whether it was another blood infection, an organ infection, or being put on a ventilator, he always bounced back. He got back up, picked up his cross and moved forward, just as Jesus did. He was a fighter, but first and foremost, he was a believer. His resilience amazed the Dr.’s and nurses who cared for him. I remember one of his Dr.s remarked how he couldn’t believe how well his heart held up all this time, how strong his heart was, despite his medical history. Obviously the Dr. knew what disease my dad had, but he really didn’t know WHO my dad was. Of course dad had a strong heart. Even when he felt very ill, he was always kind, polite, and respectful of others, never giving in to and showing others the sorrow and pain he must have felt.
One of the last illustrations of the power of God’s grace and healing through dad’s journey came two weeks ago. My dad was feeling that he was near the end and summoned his family to be with him. He looked exhausted, beaten, worn down…..he was ready to go, or so he thought!. And so we had asked Fr. Ed and Fr. Bob to join us and dad was Anointed with the grace and healing power of Christ. Shortly later on, just a few hours after dad felt he was at death’s door, he was asking for Klondike bars, and was consuming large quantities of Gatorade, the first tastes he had experienced in several weeks. Then my dad asked for a newspaper, put his glasses on and started to read. Shortly later that day, several visitors came to see him and he was his old self again, making jokes, laughing, feeling joy with others. For a brief time that day, my dad felt well again…………what another blessing to be thankful for! Surely the medicines that dad received helped him greatly, but it takes more power than earthly medicine for someone to be knocking on death’s door one minute, and to be chugging down orange Gatorade and making bets on the upcoming Bills’ game the next. Why did this happen that day? Simple, because of WHO my dad was, a man of great faith…a man who believed in the saving power of Christ.
Often times we are asked what it is that we would want to be remembered for once we leave this Earth, what legacy do we want to leave with others. My father was not a perfect man, he had many faults. He did not make a lot of money, he never went to college, he never won the lottery, and he was never in the spotlight. No, my dad’s legacy is measured by a much greater scale, not the WHAT, but the WHO. The many lives he touched by WHO he was. The example that he gives us to learn from by WHO he was and HOW he lived in the midst of pain and trial. Most importantly, how his faith has sustained him in Christ and how through his faith, we can be confident today knowing that he is at rest in Heaven.
I think dad leaves each of us a message, a lesson to learn from. For some of us that have broken relationships, dad asks you to heal them and strengthen them. Maybe it’s with a parent, a child, a friend, perhaps even an enemy that needs forgiveness. Unlike my father, not all of us will be blessed with the gift of knowledge…knowing our time is sooner than we think. Take advantage of the moments you are given, and heal the wounds, strengthen the bonds between family, friends, and loved ones.
Another lesson we can take from my dad today is the lesson of faith. Where is each of us in our individual faith journey? Is our faith weak? Have we fallen away from the faith we once had or do we even have faith at all? The gift of faith cannot be analyzed, deduced, subjected to the laws of logic and reason and figured out. If it could then by definition it would contradict itself, after all faith is the belief in something not seen or understood. Yes, it can be difficult at times to believe in a man who existed over two thousand years ago came down from heaven, was born of a virgin, and freed us all from our sins as God made man, but this is why God uses US, real people like my father. Real people that you can see, feel, hear, touch, and learn from. My dad has shown us all the meaning of the Christian life… to live our lives in the image of Christ, and most importantly, the NECESSITY to suffer as He has suffered so that just as Jesus was raised up, we too are raised from death and into everlasting life. I believe that my dad wishes us to learn from his story. To those who are weakened in their faith, look at my dad’s story and become strengthened in it. To those who have fallen away from their faith, look at my dad’s story and come back to it. And to those who have no faith, look to my dad’s story and find it quickly! Life is too short to leave eternity to chance. My dad didn’t leave the state of his eternity to chance, he held on to his faith and left this world peacefully, confident of the Kingdom that awaits him.
Jesus calls us to be like Him. To love like He loved, to teach as He taught, and to unite ourselves to him in our sufferings. My dad did all this and more. His story of triumph will remain an inspiration to us all so that when we are faced with challenges and discouragement in our lives, we can always remember what dad did, how dad relied on God and his faith to get through the pain and ultimately, to get through the narrow gate. This is WHO my father was, this is the legacy he leaves us all today. I am most proud to share my father’s name. Because every time I share with someone my name, they will undoubtedly know that there was a man named Kenneth Robert Fick Sr. His legacy lives on. What another beautiful image of the name of a son, pointing to that of his father’s. Dad, we have learned much from you, we’re proud of you, we miss you, and we love you. Thank you for sharing the gift of your life with us. Thank you for showing us by example how to live the Christian life. Today, without question, we are confident you have heard the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant” Dad, as my mother said so beautifully, “You are our gift to Jesus this year”…..we’ll see you soon!
